Tuesday 12 October 2021

Talk of bloody long hauls! But now got this more or less last part done. Might even qualify for some kind of compensation. Keep your fingers crossed

I’ve finally finished a pretty long entry for the Hemingway bollocks which I hope will be the last such long piece. Still to come are a couple more potted blogs covering the old fraud’s last 20 years, then a general tidying up exercise.

If you want to read any of the entries (the total is almost 15,000 long, so I’ve split it into six parts), you can find them here.

If not, fuck off. I mean so say! A lad does his utmost for the intellectual life of the planet, more or less works his fingers to the bone but is treated in a very cavalier fashion along the lines of ‘stuff your Hemingway bollocks, did you really think we are interested? Really? Moron.’

For those with a more charitable heart who feel compassion is in short supply and why not spread a little of it, here are the links. 

PS As every world-beating, award-winning, cutting-edge blog is immeasurably improved by pictures and illustrations, who am I to buck the trend.

So here is a nice little piccy of one Vladimir Putin relaxing a little in the sun. And I do hope there are no mealy-mouthed ejits among you who begrudge Vlad a little me time.

I mean you might think I work bloody hard (I don’t, but you might think that), Vlad’s in a totally different league. This chap has got a country to look after! And he must make sure no one gets any big ideas about free and fair elections and any of that nonsense.

So cut him a little slack, will you, and admire those pecs.



Sunday 10 October 2021

Tripette to The Netherlands (which is very, very close)

Afternoon out at a town in the north of the Netherlands called Appingedam. Can’t really call it a ‘day out’ because it is close by, less than an hour’s drive away. After that my host — no names, no pack drill — who has lived or been based in Germany for more than 40 and is a tadette didactic, took us — our younger brother has joined us — to a kind of Dutch ‘new town’ called Blauwestad a few miles from Winschoten.

This really is a new town, being built on the banks of a new canal/lake called Oldambtmeer (the Dutch like doing things with water, according to the Germans turning it into a sliceable form and selling it as ‘a tomato). Appingedam was by far the more interesting, though not particularly interesting.

We wandered around the ‘old town’ with my sister pointing out house fronts, windows, gables, roofs and I don’t know what else to admire, but to be frank there’s only so much admiring I can do and I tend to flag after a while.

My fear is always that if I don’t demonstrate the required level of enthusiasm, I am ‘being difficult’, and ‘being difficult’ was a label hung around me early on in my life in my family, so situations like that demand some diplomacy. For all my ‘tactlessness’ (which I prefer to see as a dislike of being forced to dissemble) I can be and am far, far more diplomatic than a great many realise.

Certainly, the obvious point to make is that ‘diplomacy’ is essentially dissembling, but here I crave your goodwill and accept that there are subtle differences between the two, not least that ‘diplomacy’ in our private lives is intended to avoid bruising the feelings of others whereas dissembling is usually a great deal less admirable. But it was good to wander around and get some fresh air. I would like to see ‘old Dutch architecture, but there are I’m sure more interesting examples elsewhere in the country and I shall make a point of seeking them out in the future.

Blauwestad? Well, the first question is, what exactly it the point. It was not created to ‘provide more homes’ as the new houses — they are all new houses, though some a year or two less new than others — are not cheap and from what I saw through open blinds they all looked like the ‘second home’ refuge ‘in the country’ of professionals from Amsterdam, and Rotterdam (which are easily accessible just down the road).

Notably included in the house price was a berth for your own small but no inexpensive motorboat in the mini marina just yards from your front door. (My phone was low on juice, so I left it in the car to charge and didn’t take any pictures. I wish I had.) With no exaggeration the interiors might all have served as ads in interior design magazines. These were not ‘new homes from working class folk otherwise priced out of the market’. There also seemed to be few folk at home for a Sunday afternoon. Who knows what was going on.

Here are a few piccies from Appingedam, suitably dicked around with (the new phrase for ‘artistically processed’ if you haven’t yet guessed).













Saturday 9 October 2021

Good morning on this Sunny day in the far north-west of Germany, a clog's throw from the Dutch border

A few photos taken about 30 minutes ago (and which I’ve also posted on Facebook with the caption ‘This morning’s sun, 今天早上的太陽 in Chinese (it's always good to be prepared)’.





Here are a couple from about 100 years ago. Only just come across them:


Hilly Stuff


Fuck You


The Little Bugger


Let’s Split Up


Jesus Loves Bush

Wednesday 29 September 2021

Hemingway bollocks: the end if in sight

I'm glad to report that I'm slowly getting to the end of the Hemingway bollocks. This last essay (last, I think and hope) is in some ways crucial and took a while to get started. I've so far written over 10,000 but there's not much more to say.

It's all about how academia is eternally in danger of disappearing up its own bum, yet 99 per cent of us are rather in awe to 'academics' and if they were to contradict us and declare that on occasion black really is white, few of us would feel confident disagreeing. Here are two prime pieces of apparent gobbledgook (or maybe I'm the dumbo). But once from 1950 they decided Hemingway 'was an artist', there was no going back. Here they are:

There was much more to [The Sun Also Rises and A Farewell To Arms], of course, than an act of personal exorcism, however complicated. For to destroy by embodying is also to create by arranging. The artist’s special blessing exists in an impu. lse to destroy an aspect of the thing he creates, and to render permanent what for him, in another and internal dimension, must be permanently destroyed.

That is from Carlos Baker in his book Hemingway: The Writer As Artist. This is from a woman called Hollis Robbins, written while she was teaching at Princeton. It is her commentary on a commentary be Jackques Derrida commenting on Sigmund Freud's comments about Hans Christian Andersen's The Emperor's New Clothes:

[It is a] critique of criticism [and a] tale, teller, interpreter, and critical case study all in one . . . Yet if it is true that the tale’s very transparency is a critique of the desire to critique — or rather, the exhibitionistic desire to unveil publicly — Derrida’s privileging of the themes of analysis, truth, and unveiling in his (albeit brief) reading of The Emperor’s New Clothes provides evidence that the awareness of this desire does not reduce its influence. The desire to read The Emperor’s New Clothes as either a fantasy of critique or a new literary history critique of the fantasy of critique is symptomatic of our assumptions about what it means to be a reader-analyst.

If anyone can tell me what either piece means, or even might mean, get in touch.

Saturday 18 September 2021

A blog entry of songs I like (by others) is resurrected after I realised several had visited it but the songs could not be played, and now a few more songs, notably three versions of the same, great song (but not a version by the late Mr L Cohen of Quebec who co-wrote it)

I happened to be looking through the stats for the ‘ere blog and which posts had been recently viewed and came across one, post on August 23, 2017, which was a collection of notable singles. Then I noticed that the could no longer be played, so I decided to rectify that.

I realised that the method I had used — inserting a certain ‘audio’ code in the blog entry which referenced a file stored on the web – had broken down because the site where I had stored the files, a ‘Google site’, had been overhauled and retired by Google.

After a lot of faffing around trying to place the files elsewhere and getting nowhere, I decided simply to make brief ‘videos’ with the relevant songs as the soundtrack. In fact, there’s no video footage involved.

So I’ve resurrected that site and you can hear those tracks here (if you’ve got nothing better to do).

Given how, in the event, straightforward and simple that task turned out to be, I’ve added a few more songs. You might like them. They might not do much for you.

The first is an early Pink song I heard while in the gym at work. It’s Family Portrait and when I first heard it, it almost made me cry? My oldest child, now 25, had just been born and it immediately made me think of her and, more to the point, imagine it was she who was unhappy. Couldn’t take it. To this day the thought of any child — white, black, brown, green — who is unhappy, neglected abused can almost bring me to tears. Don’t know why (and the interesting thing is when does ‘the child’ become ‘the man/the woman’? Discuss. I’m buggered if I know.


Family Portrait by Pink

. . .

The next song is one of my favourite songs with some of the best lyrics I’ve heard in a song. It’s Everybody Knows, and this first version is by some guy called Peter Mulvey.


Everybody Knows by Peter Mulvey


The song is usually billed as ‘a Leonard Cohen’ song, but in fact he co-wrote it with the pianist and singer/songwriter Sharon Robinson. Here version comes after Mulvey’s and is a very different take, but very good.

I don’t like Leonard Cohen at all, and I don’t like his version of this song. Like pretty much everyone else I had and listened to his first album (called an ‘LP’ in those days) but finally got sick of him, the reverence with which he is treated, his voice and pretty much everything else about him.


Everybody Knows by Sharon Robinson


Finally, there is a version of the song by a Holly Figueora O’Reilly, of whom I also know nothing else. It, too, is different and it, too, is great. Give them all a whirl.


Everybody knows by Holly Figueora O’Reilly.

. . .

I’ve always liked ‘good’ lyrics, though quite obviously I must admit what one bod thinks are ‘good’ might not much appeal to another bod. But this song scores in every line. It also manages to be and ‘true’ (another dodgy word, of course) and pulls off that trick of at once being very serious but not in the slightest bit ponderous, weighty, pretentious. In fact, many lives are laugh-out-loud funny. No bugger every bothers to comment on my blog post (well, once in a month of Sundays), but I really would be interested in what others make of the lyrics.

. . .

Off to Germany tomorrow for a month, though not flying out till Tuesdays. Staying with my brother in London who is also going. Wonder what all the covid restrictions will make of the journey.

Friday 10 September 2021

Two more short stories if you are interested (and a word from my probation officer who otherwise so rarely gets a mention here . . . )

Two more stories if you are interested, as usual ones submitted to Deadlines For Writers. You can read those stories here:


The Hemingway bollocks (now almost it's official title) is coming on, though slowly, and I'm in sight of the completion. I'm still enjoying it (oddly enough) and I'm looking forward to the final job once everything is written to turn it onto a book and publish it on Amazon.

NB If you want you can read more short stories in two slim volumes I’ve already published, imaginatively entitled Volume One and Volume Two. It’s best not to run the risk of confusing folk with fancy-schmancy ‘literary’ titles.

Keep it simple, best advice my probation officer ever gave, although he wasn’t too chuffed when I followed his advice and tried to rob a Bond Street jewellers by lobbing a brick through the window and intended to rely on a push-bike to get away. I didn’t of course (get away, that is).

Now that I’ve inserted an image, I notice the copy if falling a little short and as I don’t much like leaving it like that, I feel obliged to add more to fill the space. So this is it, me filling the space, writing of nothing of any consequence at all (so what’s new? Ed) and simply hoping that I can drool on aimlessly for a few more lines without most of you becoming exasperated (‘What the fuck’s he on about now!) closing this page and heading off to the blog written by Marylou from Savannah, who wants to tell you all about her collection of dolls and teddy bears and a story about them which made it into the pages of The Savannah Tribune a month or two ago when she turned 70. Well done, Marylou!

Well, I think that should be enough garbage to fill the rest of the space.

Pip, pip.

Sunday 5 September 2021

Here's a song you might like . . .

Completed track this afternoon (which makes it sounds it’s been weeks in the making — it hasn’t, just an hour or two here and there over three days) and I rather like it (well, I would, wouldn’t I?) I do a lot of recording, but although I get many ideas for songs, it’s the singing which defeats me.

Quite apart from being self-conscious (even when I am sitting in my ‘shed’ alone with no one to hear me) I can never get it as I want. It’s a question of finding the right key into which your voice will fit. Well, I reckon I’ve found it here. Give it a listen and (thought some bloody hope) leave a comment with your thoughts.

It’s not particularly original — well, not at all original — but as the saying goes ‘it’s not the joke but the way you tell it’. (There are plenty of great songs which have been ruined by totally shite versions, for example Leon Russell’s Song For You.) Anyway, here it is. It's called Six In The Morning . . .






Monday 16 August 2021

A few tracks for your discerning listening . . .

I thought I might post these here, too. Not particularly tidy, but then I'm not looking for a rock career.

1 I Fucked It


That last one could to with editing, i.e. making a little tighter and shorter.

If you do listen to them and feel like it, give me your opinion. It’s like everything else - if you’ve written something, produced something or whatever, it’s never really complete until there’s a reader/view/listener. Anyway, that’s what I think. Actually, do me a favour and listen to to the lot, if only just the once. While writing this, I'm listening to them again (which I don't otherwise do) and it's been hard to choose which ones to post. Decisions, decisions, eh?

Just add this one, which I'm just listening to (and also like)


PS I can't resist this hoping you'll listen to this one, too

Thursday 12 August 2021

Bloody August! But then it all tails off into why I am not nostalgic about reporting on (and later subbing the results of) local flower festivals. It’s all yours

More than 40 years ago the Irish novelist Edna O’Brien published August Is A Wicked Month. I haven’t read it, but I’ve always remembered its rather memorable title. It sums up for me that August is not, if these things are possible or jus simply make sense, my favourite month by any stretch. But I don’t know why.

I’ve never much liked August and quite often feel out of sorts for its full four weeks, and only perk up with the beginning of September. It helps that I like the autumn season (fall season) but that is not the reason. In fact there is no reason: I have long — and I mean long – always dislike August. But as I say, I don’t know why. I think it might have to do with August, however, hot (and remember that I live in the United Kingdom where are whether is very inconsistent and seems to follow no pattern) being often the tail end of summer.

We look forward to spring, summer and autumn, but August heralds that summer is slowly over. I’ve admitted that I like autumn, but that autumn is on its way doesn’t much mitigate that summer is ending. Here in Britain we are so unaccustomed to consistently good weather, which is one of the reasons — the other is far cheaper booze — that every year millions pack their bags and head of to the Med countries. 

We do get periods of sunny weather, but a mark of how irregular they are is the fact that we always talk about them. I doubt whether Greeks, Italians and Spanish spend part of their time commenting ‘well, isn’t it lovely weather!’

Today is August 12, the ‘Glorious 12th’ when Brits with more money than sense are legally allowed to take to Scottish grouse moors and try to kill as many birds as they can. More to the point, we have now had 11 days in August and all 11 have been pitiful as far as the weather is concerned: overcast, very wet sometimes, quite wet at others, grey, damp, even a bit chilly.

To make matters worse this ‘bad weather’ comes on the heels of some rather hot weather a few weeks ago. I always feel wistful in August. Maybe its the light. Light can create many moods. But I really don’t know why.

Writing this, I can think of one particular August which was decidedly strange. It was the August of 1969. I had just completed my first year at Dundee University and had failed all my first year exams, for the obvious reason that throughout the year (of three semesters) I attended perhaps five or six lectures at most and did very little, if not any, of the work I was expected to do.

At Dundee in those days — the late Sixties, when I was enrolled in the Department of Arts and Social Sciences, ‘social sciences’ being the flavour of the decade, in our ‘foundation year’ — we studied five subjects: Psychology, Political Science, History, Economics and ‘Methodology’ (a kind of precursor to philosophy). My problem was simple, straightforward. We had what were called ‘resits’ at the end of summer and if I did not pass a certain number (I think it was four of the five subjects), I was out on my arse.

But let me be honest: it wasn’t that I was desperate for a university education (totally free in those days here in the UK, with ‘travel expenses’ also payable if you could fiddle them which I could) so that I could make my way in the world with my head held high and forge a grand career for myself in some field or other. It was far simpler than that: if I didn’t make it into second year, I would lose my grant and have to — Jesus, the horror! — work.

The task was straightforward: make sure you get that bloody grant! So once the summer term ended, I did not go home or to stay with a friend (although we then lived in Paris, the atmosphere at home was not very good — the previous Christmas had been awful — so I didn’t fancy that, anyway) but remained in Dundee and set to work learning the curricula of all five subjects on my own. That’s when I discovered, although I wasn’t conscious of it at the time, that I can be quite disciplined and if I put my mind to something I can get it done.

But Dundee became a strange town in August. None of my friends and acquaintances remained, the university more or less shut down (although I believe the Students’ Union remained open with a skeleton staff as other students, mainly post-grads I think also remained in Dundee for the recess) and it was just odd. Dundee is a lot further north to where I now live, 573 miles north of where I am now in the far South-West of Britain, and the light was very different. In mid-summer the sky was always light to the north and in mid-winter daylight didn’t last long. And in August the light made me feel even more wistful than usual. But I carried on, took my ‘resits’, passed four out of five of them (I failed Psychology, but was able to take it again at Christmas — still necessary to ensure my university ‘career’ continued — and did pass).

That’s August. I never much like it and it is something of a relief when September comes around.

My university ‘career’ was not otherwise distinguished and in many ways I had a lot of luck. I had originally applied to study philosophy, though not really having much idea what philosophy was. At school I took A-level chemistry and came across the concepts of ‘entropy’ and ‘enthalpy’ and was taken, as one often is at 17, with how we can discuss ‘concepts’, that is what doesn’t actually exist. I eventually linked the idea of ‘discussing concepts’ to philosophy and thought I might find out a bit more of what philosophy was.

In the school library I found a book on Greek philosophy and started reading it, only immediately to be discouraged when in the preface the author (this was in 1967 and the book was at least 50 years old) warned that
no one could begin to understand Greek philosophy without a full understanding of the the Greek lyre and the kind of music it produced. ‘That’s me out of the window, then’ I thought and returned the book.

In my second year I took English, Philosophy and German. Then, at the end of that year I applied for a the four-year Honours course in English and Philosophy rather than the three-year Ordinary degree course on the pragmatic grounds that it would mean an extra year of free money and postponing the dread business of earning a living a little.

The problem was that it was made very clear to us that selection for the Honours course were rigorous and that certainly not everyone was accepted. I was not hopeful, but I kept my head down.

Then, I can’t remember when or why, we were asked to fill in a form as to what we would be doing in our third year. I wrote down ‘Honours in English and Philosophy’ — and didn’t hear another thing. I had somehow greased into the Honours course, though how I don’t know. I was certainly not a model student.

I enjoyed Philosophy and contributed a great deal (though I don’t remember going to many lectures but I was rather more reliable attending tutorials and seminars — I enjoyed them. English? It was all too much — though they would certainly deny it — akin to learning by rote: ‘Fielding’s Tom Jones is a faux-epic something or other’. Note and repeat when asked. What it actually meant I had not a clue, though, relax, I do now.

I might as well finish this account as I’ve now started although it has little to do with August and what a wicked month it is. In my third and fourth years there were no end-of-term exams (another plus point in my book) and the first time I was called to account as in my finals. I’ve mentioned them at length and what happened in an entry I wrote (you can find it here) when I learned that a Professor Neil Copper had died. But the upshot was that I produced dismal papers for the English department but (I was told) did quite well in my philosophy papers.

Thus although the English department wanted to fail me, the Philosophy department insisted I should get some recognition. I was not awarded an Honours degree but the compromise was that I should get an Ordinary.

In hindsight, my degree was pretty pointless. In those days ‘graduates’ were viewed with suspicion in the newspaper industry, and almost all reporters were school-leavers who had wanted to ‘break into journalism’ (a bloody silly phrase dreamed up to add spurious glamour to an otherwise bog-standard job) from a very early age. And in those days, sub-editors had all once worked as reporters and were not, as increasingly now, recruited directly into the job.

NB There’s only one thing more miserable than spending three days at the local flower festival digging up ‘stories’ and collating ‘results’ than subbing those bloody results. In those days it meant going through the goddam lot and marking them in up in the appropriate style — bold, italic, roman, 12pt, 14pt, this font or that or whatever — for the compositors to set in print. You didn’t and don’t need a degree for that and non-graduates, then the vast majority, thought we graduates would immediately go for glory.

No my degree has been of little use to me, though four buckshee years of living off the taxpayer is not to be sneered at. And that as a much to do with August as nothing else.

Pip, pip.

Monday 9 August 2021

You’ve never read Proust? What never? Ever?

The following is in response to a comment left on my previous post by a Michael P Bowles who asked me, in view of my views on Hemingway, what I thought of Marcel Proust. I trust he doesn’t mind me leaving it as an entry, but as it is already public (as my published response . . .) Oh, and what with writing ‘essays for my Hemingway blog, this blog has had less attention, and I’ve very conscious of that.

I’ve never read Proust, whether in French (I don’t speak and thus don’t read French) or English. The only French novels I’ve read have all been English translations. And as far as translations are concerned, I now tread a little more carefully.

I am half-English and half-German, and my German mother spoke only German with me when I was very young and young. When I was nine, we moved to Berlin because of my father’s job, and I and my older brother were immediately sent to German schools. So now in addition to understanding German as well as English, I learned to speak German, and eventually became bi-lingual.

A few years ago, I read - in German - Der Untertan by Heinrich Mann. It is a sharp satire on hypocrisy and provincial life in Wilhelmine Germany and it is sometimes laugh-out-loud funny. I was living in London at the time and wondered just how well the humour had travelled to Britain.

So I went to a local Pan bookshop and dug out Man Of Straw (the title of the English translation). I looked up different passages, and they were as flat as a pancake if no a great deal flatter. The nuances, the subtleties, the satire and the humour had simply gone missing.

That was when I realised that ideally we should read an author in her or his original language. But, of course, for many if not most that just isn’t possible. I would even venture to suggest that folk who have learned a country’s language and speak it well, but are not necessarily as familiar with its culture as a native, might miss not just a little but quite a bit.

For example (and I shan’t go into too much detail), there is a line in Der Untertan where the main character, Diederich, who has discovered he has made his girlfriend pregnant, ends the relationship (on the grounds that he couldn’t marry a woman who had pre-marital sex). But he is nevertheless heartbroken and returns home and (writes Mann) ‘und am Abend spielte er Schubert’ (‘and that night he played Schubert’).

In context that is a laugh-out-loud line, funny as hell. In English? What the fuck is pfg powell talking about? Jesus! Funny? Those Krauts just don’t have a sense of humour!

Actually, they do have a sense of humour, and a very good one (though you can find as many humourless gits in Germany as in Britain (I married one. though she is not German). But it’s a different kind of humour. (Perhaps a 


good indication of how these things don’t necessarily work as we expect is that ‘ironisch’ in German is more ‘sardonic’ than ‘ironic’.

I later did the same with one other book I was reading, though it was not a satire: Ungeduld des Herzens by Stefan Zweig becomes Beware Of Pity in its English translation (and though that English title does more or less ‘sum up’ one theme of the novel, it is nowhere near as sharp as Ungeduld des Herzens, The Heart’s Impatience/Impatience Of The Heart/An Impatient Heart/take your pick - works far better in German.)

That novel, too, suffered in translation because various subtle, but telling details did not carry over. Shame really, though no translator can be blamed. (I once did a lot of translating for a friend who was writing a biography of the violinist Adolf Busch, translating all kinds of things into English - letters, feature articles, reviews, documents - and there is always a trade-off of some kind. Perfection is - as usual - impossible.

So, no, I don’t have a view on Proust because I haven’t read any Proust.

One last point: one major point I make in my Hemingway ‘essays’ is that unlike in mathematics (say), in ‘the arts’, specifically ‘literature’ all judgments, views, analyses etc are not subjective and, even more to the point, there can be no objective however much academics and critics might like to persuade us otherwise.