Friday, 10 September 2021

Two more short stories if you are interested (and a word from my probation officer who otherwise so rarely gets a mention here . . . )

Two more stories if you are interested, as usual ones submitted to Deadlines For Writers. You can read those stories here:


The Hemingway bollocks (now almost it's official title) is coming on, though slowly, and I'm in sight of the completion. I'm still enjoying it (oddly enough) and I'm looking forward to the final job once everything is written to turn it onto a book and publish it on Amazon.

NB If you want you can read more short stories in two slim volumes I’ve already published, imaginatively entitled Volume One and Volume Two. It’s best not to run the risk of confusing folk with fancy-schmancy ‘literary’ titles.

Keep it simple, best advice my probation officer ever gave, although he wasn’t too chuffed when I followed his advice and tried to rob a Bond Street jewellers by lobbing a brick through the window and intended to rely on a push-bike to get away. I didn’t of course (get away, that is).

Now that I’ve inserted an image, I notice the copy if falling a little short and as I don’t much like leaving it like that, I feel obliged to add more to fill the space. So this is it, me filling the space, writing of nothing of any consequence at all (so what’s new? Ed) and simply hoping that I can drool on aimlessly for a few more lines without most of you becoming exasperated (‘What the fuck’s he on about now!) closing this page and heading off to the blog written by Marylou from Savannah, who wants to tell you all about her collection of dolls and teddy bears and a story about them which made it into the pages of The Savannah Tribune a month or two ago when she turned 70. Well done, Marylou!

Well, I think that should be enough garbage to fill the rest of the space.

Pip, pip.

Sunday, 5 September 2021

Here's a song you might like . . .

Completed track this afternoon (which makes it sounds it’s been weeks in the making — it hasn’t, just an hour or two here and there over three days) and I rather like it (well, I would, wouldn’t I?) I do a lot of recording, but although I get many ideas for songs, it’s the singing which defeats me.

Quite apart from being self-conscious (even when I am sitting in my ‘shed’ alone with no one to hear me) I can never get it as I want. It’s a question of finding the right key into which your voice will fit. Well, I reckon I’ve found it here. Give it a listen and (thought some bloody hope) leave a comment with your thoughts.

It’s not particularly original — well, not at all original — but as the saying goes ‘it’s not the joke but the way you tell it’. (There are plenty of great songs which have been ruined by totally shite versions, for example Leon Russell’s Song For You.) Anyway, here it is. It's called Six In The Morning . . .






Monday, 16 August 2021

A few tracks for your discerning listening . . .

I thought I might post these here, too. Not particularly tidy, but then I'm not looking for a rock career.

1 I Fucked It


That last one could to with editing, i.e. making a little tighter and shorter.

If you do listen to them and feel like it, give me your opinion. It’s like everything else - if you’ve written something, produced something or whatever, it’s never really complete until there’s a reader/view/listener. Anyway, that’s what I think. Actually, do me a favour and listen to to the lot, if only just the once. While writing this, I'm listening to them again (which I don't otherwise do) and it's been hard to choose which ones to post. Decisions, decisions, eh?

Just add this one, which I'm just listening to (and also like)


PS I can't resist this hoping you'll listen to this one, too

Thursday, 12 August 2021

Bloody August! But then it all tails off into why I am not nostalgic about reporting on (and later subbing the results of) local flower festivals. It’s all yours

More than 40 years ago the Irish novelist Edna O’Brien published August Is A Wicked Month. I haven’t read it, but I’ve always remembered its rather memorable title. It sums up for me that August is not, if these things are possible or jus simply make sense, my favourite month by any stretch. But I don’t know why.

I’ve never much liked August and quite often feel out of sorts for its full four weeks, and only perk up with the beginning of September. It helps that I like the autumn season (fall season) but that is not the reason. In fact there is no reason: I have long — and I mean long – always dislike August. But as I say, I don’t know why. I think it might have to do with August, however, hot (and remember that I live in the United Kingdom where are whether is very inconsistent and seems to follow no pattern) being often the tail end of summer.

We look forward to spring, summer and autumn, but August heralds that summer is slowly over. I’ve admitted that I like autumn, but that autumn is on its way doesn’t much mitigate that summer is ending. Here in Britain we are so unaccustomed to consistently good weather, which is one of the reasons — the other is far cheaper booze — that every year millions pack their bags and head of to the Med countries. 

We do get periods of sunny weather, but a mark of how irregular they are is the fact that we always talk about them. I doubt whether Greeks, Italians and Spanish spend part of their time commenting ‘well, isn’t it lovely weather!’

Today is August 12, the ‘Glorious 12th’ when Brits with more money than sense are legally allowed to take to Scottish grouse moors and try to kill as many birds as they can. More to the point, we have now had 11 days in August and all 11 have been pitiful as far as the weather is concerned: overcast, very wet sometimes, quite wet at others, grey, damp, even a bit chilly.

To make matters worse this ‘bad weather’ comes on the heels of some rather hot weather a few weeks ago. I always feel wistful in August. Maybe its the light. Light can create many moods. But I really don’t know why.

Writing this, I can think of one particular August which was decidedly strange. It was the August of 1969. I had just completed my first year at Dundee University and had failed all my first year exams, for the obvious reason that throughout the year (of three semesters) I attended perhaps five or six lectures at most and did very little, if not any, of the work I was expected to do.

At Dundee in those days — the late Sixties, when I was enrolled in the Department of Arts and Social Sciences, ‘social sciences’ being the flavour of the decade, in our ‘foundation year’ — we studied five subjects: Psychology, Political Science, History, Economics and ‘Methodology’ (a kind of precursor to philosophy). My problem was simple, straightforward. We had what were called ‘resits’ at the end of summer and if I did not pass a certain number (I think it was four of the five subjects), I was out on my arse.

But let me be honest: it wasn’t that I was desperate for a university education (totally free in those days here in the UK, with ‘travel expenses’ also payable if you could fiddle them which I could) so that I could make my way in the world with my head held high and forge a grand career for myself in some field or other. It was far simpler than that: if I didn’t make it into second year, I would lose my grant and have to — Jesus, the horror! — work.

The task was straightforward: make sure you get that bloody grant! So once the summer term ended, I did not go home or to stay with a friend (although we then lived in Paris, the atmosphere at home was not very good — the previous Christmas had been awful — so I didn’t fancy that, anyway) but remained in Dundee and set to work learning the curricula of all five subjects on my own. That’s when I discovered, although I wasn’t conscious of it at the time, that I can be quite disciplined and if I put my mind to something I can get it done.

But Dundee became a strange town in August. None of my friends and acquaintances remained, the university more or less shut down (although I believe the Students’ Union remained open with a skeleton staff as other students, mainly post-grads I think also remained in Dundee for the recess) and it was just odd. Dundee is a lot further north to where I now live, 573 miles north of where I am now in the far South-West of Britain, and the light was very different. In mid-summer the sky was always light to the north and in mid-winter daylight didn’t last long. And in August the light made me feel even more wistful than usual. But I carried on, took my ‘resits’, passed four out of five of them (I failed Psychology, but was able to take it again at Christmas — still necessary to ensure my university ‘career’ continued — and did pass).

That’s August. I never much like it and it is something of a relief when September comes around.

My university ‘career’ was not otherwise distinguished and in many ways I had a lot of luck. I had originally applied to study philosophy, though not really having much idea what philosophy was. At school I took A-level chemistry and came across the concepts of ‘entropy’ and ‘enthalpy’ and was taken, as one often is at 17, with how we can discuss ‘concepts’, that is what doesn’t actually exist. I eventually linked the idea of ‘discussing concepts’ to philosophy and thought I might find out a bit more of what philosophy was.

In the school library I found a book on Greek philosophy and started reading it, only immediately to be discouraged when in the preface the author (this was in 1967 and the book was at least 50 years old) warned that
no one could begin to understand Greek philosophy without a full understanding of the the Greek lyre and the kind of music it produced. ‘That’s me out of the window, then’ I thought and returned the book.

In my second year I took English, Philosophy and German. Then, at the end of that year I applied for a the four-year Honours course in English and Philosophy rather than the three-year Ordinary degree course on the pragmatic grounds that it would mean an extra year of free money and postponing the dread business of earning a living a little.

The problem was that it was made very clear to us that selection for the Honours course were rigorous and that certainly not everyone was accepted. I was not hopeful, but I kept my head down.

Then, I can’t remember when or why, we were asked to fill in a form as to what we would be doing in our third year. I wrote down ‘Honours in English and Philosophy’ — and didn’t hear another thing. I had somehow greased into the Honours course, though how I don’t know. I was certainly not a model student.

I enjoyed Philosophy and contributed a great deal (though I don’t remember going to many lectures but I was rather more reliable attending tutorials and seminars — I enjoyed them. English? It was all too much — though they would certainly deny it — akin to learning by rote: ‘Fielding’s Tom Jones is a faux-epic something or other’. Note and repeat when asked. What it actually meant I had not a clue, though, relax, I do now.

I might as well finish this account as I’ve now started although it has little to do with August and what a wicked month it is. In my third and fourth years there were no end-of-term exams (another plus point in my book) and the first time I was called to account as in my finals. I’ve mentioned them at length and what happened in an entry I wrote (you can find it here) when I learned that a Professor Neil Copper had died. But the upshot was that I produced dismal papers for the English department but (I was told) did quite well in my philosophy papers.

Thus although the English department wanted to fail me, the Philosophy department insisted I should get some recognition. I was not awarded an Honours degree but the compromise was that I should get an Ordinary.

In hindsight, my degree was pretty pointless. In those days ‘graduates’ were viewed with suspicion in the newspaper industry, and almost all reporters were school-leavers who had wanted to ‘break into journalism’ (a bloody silly phrase dreamed up to add spurious glamour to an otherwise bog-standard job) from a very early age. And in those days, sub-editors had all once worked as reporters and were not, as increasingly now, recruited directly into the job.

NB There’s only one thing more miserable than spending three days at the local flower festival digging up ‘stories’ and collating ‘results’ than subbing those bloody results. In those days it meant going through the goddam lot and marking them in up in the appropriate style — bold, italic, roman, 12pt, 14pt, this font or that or whatever — for the compositors to set in print. You didn’t and don’t need a degree for that and non-graduates, then the vast majority, thought we graduates would immediately go for glory.

No my degree has been of little use to me, though four buckshee years of living off the taxpayer is not to be sneered at. And that as a much to do with August as nothing else.

Pip, pip.

Monday, 9 August 2021

You’ve never read Proust? What never? Ever?

The following is in response to a comment left on my previous post by a Michael P Bowles who asked me, in view of my views on Hemingway, what I thought of Marcel Proust. I trust he doesn’t mind me leaving it as an entry, but as it is already public (as my published response . . .) Oh, and what with writing ‘essays for my Hemingway blog, this blog has had less attention, and I’ve very conscious of that.

I’ve never read Proust, whether in French (I don’t speak and thus don’t read French) or English. The only French novels I’ve read have all been English translations. And as far as translations are concerned, I now tread a little more carefully.

I am half-English and half-German, and my German mother spoke only German with me when I was very young and young. When I was nine, we moved to Berlin because of my father’s job, and I and my older brother were immediately sent to German schools. So now in addition to understanding German as well as English, I learned to speak German, and eventually became bi-lingual.

A few years ago, I read - in German - Der Untertan by Heinrich Mann. It is a sharp satire on hypocrisy and provincial life in Wilhelmine Germany and it is sometimes laugh-out-loud funny. I was living in London at the time and wondered just how well the humour had travelled to Britain.

So I went to a local Pan bookshop and dug out Man Of Straw (the title of the English translation). I looked up different passages, and they were as flat as a pancake if no a great deal flatter. The nuances, the subtleties, the satire and the humour had simply gone missing.

That was when I realised that ideally we should read an author in her or his original language. But, of course, for many if not most that just isn’t possible. I would even venture to suggest that folk who have learned a country’s language and speak it well, but are not necessarily as familiar with its culture as a native, might miss not just a little but quite a bit.

For example (and I shan’t go into too much detail), there is a line in Der Untertan where the main character, Diederich, who has discovered he has made his girlfriend pregnant, ends the relationship (on the grounds that he couldn’t marry a woman who had pre-marital sex). But he is nevertheless heartbroken and returns home and (writes Mann) ‘und am Abend spielte er Schubert’ (‘and that night he played Schubert’).

In context that is a laugh-out-loud line, funny as hell. In English? What the fuck is pfg powell talking about? Jesus! Funny? Those Krauts just don’t have a sense of humour!

Actually, they do have a sense of humour, and a very good one (though you can find as many humourless gits in Germany as in Britain (I married one. though she is not German). But it’s a different kind of humour. (Perhaps a 


good indication of how these things don’t necessarily work as we expect is that ‘ironisch’ in German is more ‘sardonic’ than ‘ironic’.

I later did the same with one other book I was reading, though it was not a satire: Ungeduld des Herzens by Stefan Zweig becomes Beware Of Pity in its English translation (and though that English title does more or less ‘sum up’ one theme of the novel, it is nowhere near as sharp as Ungeduld des Herzens, The Heart’s Impatience/Impatience Of The Heart/An Impatient Heart/take your pick - works far better in German.)

That novel, too, suffered in translation because various subtle, but telling details did not carry over. Shame really, though no translator can be blamed. (I once did a lot of translating for a friend who was writing a biography of the violinist Adolf Busch, translating all kinds of things into English - letters, feature articles, reviews, documents - and there is always a trade-off of some kind. Perfection is - as usual - impossible.

So, no, I don’t have a view on Proust because I haven’t read any Proust.

One last point: one major point I make in my Hemingway ‘essays’ is that unlike in mathematics (say), in ‘the arts’, specifically ‘literature’ all judgments, views, analyses etc are not subjective and, even more to the point, there can be no objective however much academics and critics might like to persuade us otherwise.

Thursday, 29 July 2021

For your info (as I have not much else to write about at the moment. Fuck covid)

I recently joined the Hemingway Society as a means of getting access to the articles which are carried bi-annually in the Hemingway Review.

These articles are pretty much what you might expect, academia indulging itself (though why not?) on topics that would and will never interest the man on the Clapham omnibus and are only interesting to those who are fully believe Hemingway ‘was one of the 20th century’s greatest writers and are interested in minutiae. Having said that, some are — judging by their titles, I have only read three or four — more attractive than others, but my main point stands.

As a member, I was invited to attend a ‘webinar’ over Zoom, over four Fridays. The third will be tomorrow, but as you will see from what I write below, they are pretty much from my point of view a waste of time. But I shall still tune in tomorrow and next Friday.

Below is a ‘letter’ I emailed to a young Scottish academic (Juliet Conway) who moderated the first webinar. I thought I might post that here.



St Breward, July 27, 2021.

Dear Juliet,

As this is a long email, I have also attached it as a Word doc, which you might choose to print out and thus find easier to read. I have also cc-d Suzanne del Gizzo.

I first considered emailing you a few days ago, but dithered because of where I stand on the notion of Hemingway as ‘one of the 20th century’s greatest writers’. You can yourself gauge my view from the title of the project on which I’ve been working.

Ironically, that project began life simply as ‘a project’, any old project really, the undertaking of which was its purpose, but would also allow me to learn more intellectual discipline and other such skills, not least how fully to complete a task which was not necessarily straightforward. Hemingway just happened to be the, more or less random, subject that came along; but as I read more about him and got deeper into it all, the project expanded and expanded. It has now been three years in operation (and there was even a false start).

I’ve finally decided to write to you and try to pick your brains — my question is at the end of this letter — in view of my reading on Hemingway and his work (and of course his work itself ), as well as my membership of the Hemingway Society; and, most pertinently, my experience of the first two of the planned four webinars (of which you moderated the first).

Why am I writing to you rather than any of the other academics who have so far taken part? Well, many years ago, I was at Dundee University, nominally ‘reading’ English and philosophy (and at that age most certainly not equipped in any way to take a university course — university was where we middle-class white chaps ended up unless we were thicker than shit).

I am not Scottish, but while at Dundee I gained a great deal of respect for a certain Scottish independence of mind and scepticism, and I reasoned that as a Scot you might share those traits; and that brings me to my experience of the webinars (so far) and to report a certain disappointment I felt while listening to them.

I was the attendee who in a comment, and rather tactlessly, described the proceedings as somehow akin to a ‘Britney Spears convention’; and although that might be taken as nothing more than an uncalled-for throwaway remark, it does, curiously, hit the nail on the head.

In view of my project, I was hoping for — indeed expecting — rather more intellectual cut and thrust, more of a debate, differing points of view, more of an edge, more disagreement, less (as I said last week in second, possibly equally tactless, comment) ‘campfire cosiness’.

I don’t doubt I’d been a tad naive: the Hemingway Society is, after all, a group of like-minded folk who all — I assume all — accept that Hemingway was ‘one of our greatest writers’: so why would apostates such as me not signed up to the creed bother joining (although I did do so, but for practical reasons)? Why did I expect to find a partial dissenter or two among the Society’s ranks attending the webinars?

Yet I did, and I hoped there would be less uncritical consensus and rather more incisive comment, that even some who were more persuaded of his talents than I still had a doubt or two in this regard or that. But none of it. The ‘disagreements’ seem to me to be of the order of whether ‘Papa’ preferred his coffee black or white, in a mug or cup. (I recall from last Friday something about a ‘yellow house’.)

Here’s an example of the kind of thing that distresses me a little: my next (and I hope penultimate) ‘essay’ is about ‘literary interpretation’; and it will not just address the analysis of Hemingway’s work I have so far read, but such academic analysis in general. (NB Not only does the word ‘essay’ make me self-conscious, but when re-reading those I have so far written, I am aware of their many flaws. As for how they might be read with academic eyes, I try not to think of it. When they all are completed, they will revised mercilessly.)

To be clearer on my view of ‘literary interpretation’: such exegesis of Hemingway’s work or that of any other writer (and I have just read and re-read Carlos Baker’s chapter on Hemingway’s short stories) is, essentially and like it or not, opinion and supposition, no more. It is neither ‘right’ nor ‘wrong’. It is not — because it cannot be — in the same class of thinking as dealing in mathematics and science: you cannot ‘have an opinion’ of whether two and two is four as you can have an opinion on the symbolism — alleged or otherwise — in Hemingway’s work. Yet all too often such interpretations are, tacitly, treated as equally copper-bottomed.

Their exponents, women and men such as Beegel, Baker, Daiker, Eby, Atkins, Moddelmog and Young and the rest are treated as the ‘experts’, the guides; and when you are a youngster in your third or fourth year of high school or studying English literature at undergraduate level, unsure of yourself and not just intellectually, you are apt to
 

follow their guidance. You are likely to accept almost wholesale ‘what you are taught’; and you will be reluctant openly to disagree, not least for fear of jeopardising your grades.

Yes, I know a great deal is made these days of trying to get students ‘to think for themselves’, but this cynic is inclined to dismiss that claim as a certain kind of liberal window dressing. For as always in life in every sphere, the orthodoxy will rule.

Were a student to suggest, honestly and not intending simply to be contrary, that A Very Short Story is essentially little else but an adolescent and nasty makeweight revenge tale signifying very little, or asking just what is the point of Mr and Mrs Elliot, ‘teacher/tutor’ might well conclude she or he ‘hadn’t yet understood them’.

Don’t get me wrong: I am certainly not dismissing all of Hemingway’s work (I especially like Soldier’s Home), although I agree with Dorothy Parker and others that he was a better short story writer than novelist; but I am baffled that all his work is somehow thought to be ‘of genius’. Yet that is the orthodoxy: it reminds me of Matthew Bruccoli’s astute line that ‘Everything [Hemingway] did [from 1929 on], everything he wrote, became important because he was Ernest Hemingway’.

It goes deeper: over time these ‘authoritative’ interpretations ‘of Hemingway’s art’ became the certainties, and, insanely, it is now increasingly up to the apostates to ‘prove them wrong’.

I’m sure you are familiar with Virginia Woolf’s Essay on Criticism as part of her review of Men Without Women. In it she wrote: ‘[Critics] have neither wigs nor outriders. They differ in no way from other people if one sees them in the flesh. Yet these insignificant fellow creatures have only to shut themselves up in a room, dip a pen in the ink, and call themselves ‘we’, for the rest of us to believe that they are somehow exalted, inspired, infallible.’

Substitute ‘academics’ for ‘critics’, and the same holds true. And Woolf’s observation might illuminate the dilemma of the high school and college student and the ‘lay’ reader: no one is inclined to disagree and become a tall poppy.

The title of my project is straightforward and expresses the essence of my interest — ‘The Hemingway Enigma: how did a middling writer come to achieve such global literary fame?’

In fairness the woman and man must — and must always — be distinguished from her or his work. We now know that the sculptor Eric Gill was an incestuous paedophile, but does that have any bearing upon how much his work engages and interests us, pleases us aesthetically and is valued? This question has been asked about Gill and others, and my answer is always: no, none at all.

So put aside, for now, the main factors which helped Hemingway achieve that global status — the subtle but continual self-promotion, the ambitious young man’s networking, the competitive and driven ambition.

Put aside, for now, the incongruity that the man who from an early age was more inclined to lie about his past and experience ostentatiously and noisily championed ‘the truth’; put aside, for now, that this man could — in all seriousness — suggest that ‘a writer creating fiction’ was synonymous with ‘lying’ and that ‘all writers were liars’: why do the ‘experts’ and the ‘guides’ still insist he was ‘a great writer’? On what do they base that continuing verdict?

Are they unaware that the literary and artistic quality of his work — for some of us not bad, but not great either — declined, gradually but inexorably, over the last 30 years of his life? Even the two exceptions among that body of work — For Whom The Bell Tolls and The Old Man And The Sea — were not without reasoned and pertinent criticism. Can anyone ‘grown-up’ really take seriously the ‘love affair’ between Jordan and Maria? It is strikingly far more like the fantasy of a teenage boy.

How do the Hemingway champions explain that ‘one of America’s greatest writers’ and a man who prided himself on his journalistic training and professionalism turned out 120,000 words of copy for a feature when Life initially asked him for a 10,000 (later, at his request, bumped up to 30,000 word)? As a, now retired, print journalist, I know that ‘sticking to the brief’ is the essence of professionalism.

How do they explain that the writer who claimed he revised, revised and revised obsessively could allow one critic in a review of Death In Afternoon to write that Hemingway was ‘guilty of the grievous sin of writing sentences which have to be read two or three times before the meaning is clear’? Or that another reviwer, by no means maliciously, observed that one sentence in Green Hills Of Africa ran to 46 lines and that the result is ‘a kind of etymological gas that is just bad writing’? The question is simple: just how conscientiously did Hemingway revise? How ‘professional’ was he?

I could give other examples — the ‘big book’ (which, drastically edited, became Islands In The Stream) that he could not complete in 15 years’, or that the one-time writer of ‘fibrous and athletic, colloquial and fresh, hard and clean’ prose became so distressingly prolix that he produced a full 2,000 pages for what was eventually cut by nine-tenths to become The Garden Of Eden. (Just how can the novel be seen as ‘Hemingway’s work)?

Why are the Hemingway faithful still in thrall to, and respectful of, Hemingway’s ‘theory of omission’ when years ago Paul Smith pointed out that had Hemingway told his friends in Paris about it (at the time he mentioned it only to Fitzgerald, in a letter), they ‘would have seen it as a version of the commonplace that the structures of literature, like the sentences of the language, imply more than they state and make us feel more than we know’? As for the readers, for several centuries we have experienced it as ‘reading between the lines’; but it was not, as Hemingway convinced himself, his own ‘discovery’.

Yet Hemingway’s loyal champions do explain it all away and rationalise the list of such incongruities with the argument that boils down to the almost insultingly simplistic ‘but this was Ernest Hemingway, one of the 20th century’s greatest writers’.

I was born and raised a Roman Catholic, but have long declared UDI and no longer have any truck with the official church line which tried to fob off a faithful baffled by doctrines such as ‘the Trinity’ and ‘transubstantiation’ as being ‘mysteries’ which ‘only God’s grace will allow us to understand’. Something similar seems, unwittingly, to be going on with Ernest Hemingway.

Has no one not wondered why — despite Hemingway’s ostentatious and studied anti-intellectualism and apparent view that talk about art was airy-fairy nonsense — he, who, Baker insists, tackled ‘difficult problems’ and ‘experimented’, did not now and then discuss technique, theory, his experiments and such with like-minded women and men? If he did, there is no record of it.

When he did seem to be ‘discussing’ writing, he simply laid down the law, which is to say his law. (‘All you have to do is write one true sentence. Write the truest sentence that you know’? Sorry, but that’s little more than guff to dazzle the teens.) Is it not as obvious to the Hemingway faithful as to the rest of us that there is no such thing as ‘the’ truth, that there is an infinite number of ‘truths’, ranging from the personal and subjective truths to the scientific and forensic; and that in fiction any number of ‘truths’ can be posited?

Is it not as obvious to them that such bargain-basement metaphysics as something being ‘truer than true’ is simply jejune sentiment which should impress no one older than 19? What does it mean? It’s about as profound as a Britney Spears pop lyric.

Have the Hemingway champions not considered these and other questions? Apparently not. Apparently it is us, the apostates, the non-believers, who are at fault in that we still don’t ‘get’ Hemingway. That’s why I was so disappointed with the webinars. Where was the incisive cut and thrust which can make debate a real pleasure?

So here is my question to you, Juliet. Apart from wanting to make the above points and, I dearly hope, elicit a response to them from you, this is why I am writing: are there any academics, equally respected as the Hemingway champions, who are more inclined to share my scepticism and acknowledge the essence of the enigma I describe?

I am not talking of anyone of the ilk of a certain Richard Bradford, whose biography of Hemingway was quite bizarre and irrationally hostile, but women and men who have considered the matter and find they can’t disagree with me. If there are, I would dearly like you to pass on their names so that I can read some of their work, if it exists.

Sorry for going on so long, but I’ve been feeling guilty that my tactlessness risked spoiling the party for the past two Fridays and, apart from anything else, I wanted to say so.

With my best wishes for the rest of the week,

Patrick Powell (no longer in Dundee but now in deepest, darkest North Cornwall).

PS Since writing almost all of the above, I’ve come across the podcast by Suzanne which discusses A Very Short Story which I shall now go and listen to with interest.

I am also considering flying out to Wyoming and Montana next July to attend a society conference, though not because I’m going soft on the man, but I’ve always wanted to visit Montana (after reading a ‘cowboy’ story called The Man From Montana when I was about six), have a good break, take in a visit to friends in Philadelphia, attend such a conference.  (For that reason I also attended a Conservative Party conference in Blackpool years ago, which raised a few eyebrows. My reasons were not orthodox, though: I went because I wanted to to attend a party conference (any might have done) and to visit Blackpool (which for many in Britain was for long a byword of a certain kind of holiday. Perhaps I even wrote a blog about it. I’ll check).

I’ve done various costings on the basis of a ten-day stay and it won’t — in my world — be cheap. But it will be a one-off. I’m toying with the idea of trying to get one or two publications interested in a feature, to be written once I return.

Sunday, 25 July 2021

In which I touch upon a son’s disrespect for the 5th Commandment, the weather, the importance of ‘a glass of something’ and the Last Days, but please don’t be alarmed by the biblical references. (Biblical! Capital B! ED)

Sitting outside our cottage in the garden just now on one of those rare days of warmth and sunshine we are granted by the good Lord here in Old Blighty, I recalled a conversation I had with my son W. a few days ago. It was the same set-up: I was sitting in the garden with a glass of something to hand and it was sunny, though with the one main difference that it was hot. Very hot, in fact, but not too hot.

Courtesy of ‘global warming’ – actually ‘climate change’ is now the more modern and more correct term to use, and apparently the problem is getting so serious in some English counties, Hampshire, I believe and Derbyshire and Cumbria you can now be fined for calling it ‘global warming’. It has to be ‘climate change’, so that we are all signed up to sing from the same hymn sheet. Wasn’t it Archbishop William Laud who observed quite wisely . . . (No it wasn’t and get on with it! Ed) — courtesy of ‘climate change’ we had been basking in very hot weather for several days. Well, comparatively very hot here in Britain, where the Met Office designates ‘a sunny day’ by how many queues of more than 10ft long form outside My Whippy vans in designated seaside resorts.

Today is not at all hot, but what we middle-class white folk have been taught to call ‘very pleasant’, and if we are in the company of someone who went to the right school, we are encouraged to describe the day as ‘very pleasant indeed’, to ensure they know that we, too went, to the right school. But as I was saying. . .

The other day I was also sitting outside (reading up on more guff about that old fraud Ernest Hemingway, but that’s not relevant, I just want to assure you I wasn’t frittering my time away) and the spot I have chosen was just outside my son’s downstairs bedroom, which was once the utility room, that is where we had our chest freeze, washing machine, my desk and computer and whatever crap we couldn’t stash elsewhere. (It’s a lot nicer now.) At that spot is a wooden table and a solid wooden chair I treated myself to, to use on just such occasions as these). Anyway . . .

After some minutes I went inside to get something from the kitchen (no doubt to top up my glass of something, ouzo and Pernod are my current tipple) and my son, who bedroom (that is the former utility room is next to the kitchen asked me: ‘Where you talking to yourself, Dad?’ Well, as it happens I was. As it happens I do that quite a bit, usually imaginary conversation I have with people.

‘That’s odd,’ he said.

‘No, it isn’t,’ I replied. ‘I was daydreaming.’

Well, I was, and I do daydream quite bit (and have always done so which led to an awful lot of trouble at work when I was not concentrating one what I was reading).

‘It’s still odd,’ he said. And that’s how we left it. Trying to persuade someone that daydreaming ‘is not odd’ (even if it involves having imaginary conversations) is rather more pointless than trying to persuade someone who is convinced the Moon is made of cheese or that aliens built the pyramids that it isn’t and they didn’t. My advice in that situation is to cut your losses and shut up and go and top up your glass of something.

Here are the inside of my shed (pictured below, and I have to say more comfortable than the small corner of the utility room I was granted), the table outside my son’s room where I sit (also pictured), and — as a bonus, a snap I took by mistake but which I quite like (the one that doesn’t look like the inside of a man cave or an outdoor wooden table. You'll spot it, hard to miss). I’ve added copies of all three piccies in black and white for those souls who still like to call radios ‘the wireless’ and think the internet and ‘streaming’ are indubitably signs of the Last Days.

Pip, pip.

Incidentally, my son has in the past also accused my of being ‘theatrical’. I took exception to that, but let the matter rest at the time when we established he didn’t mean the word as code for ‘gay’.

 







Saturday, 19 June 2021

A gentle night’s reading?

I could bang on about what a dickhead ‘Boris’ Johnson is and who — without actually intending to — is selling Britain down the river, but the chances are you’ve not heard of ‘Boris’, and anyway I’m not feeling in a sounding off mood. Then there’s China and how soon war will break out, Trump and whether the stories about the gay porn films he acted in when he was in his teens are about to surface, England — specifically it’s national football (‘soccer’) side and that it’s high time the penny dropped that it is not God’s gift to humanity, and finally covid, bloody, sodding covid.


But enough trivialities: here are the most recent stories I’ve submitted to the deadlines website and also posted on a website I run where I can keep all my stories and poems. If you are interested in reading them — after all, they are written to be read and there’s bugger all else a story can get up to once written than to be read — here, in no particular, are the last ten I’ve written. If you want to read more, you can find them here.







Sunday, 30 May 2021

Is there a God? Was Ernest Hemingway infallible? Do academics simply have too much bloody time on their hands? Is there any such species as an honest academic? William of Occam and I set about tackling these and other pressing issues

 

Note to reader:
This is LONG. Better go and have a wee before starting it.

Whenever I want to think things through and get my thoughts straight, I find either articulating them in conversation or writing something is very useful. Conversation is helpful because the other party or parties are likely to spot the flaws in your — my — thinking a lot sooner than you do — I do. Something similar happens when you I set down my thoughts, although the advantage of someone else’s mind spotting that you are talking complete crap and telling you so, is unfortunately not part of it. 

However, when — as I now do (and bloody well should have been doing all my working life as a sub-editor) — you re-read and re-read and re-read what you have written, you are more likely to spot the flaws in your argument as well has any horrible literals. Reading the piece out aloud is even more useful, although I do sometimes feel like a prune doing that.

Along those lines — and this is relevant to what I want to write here, although not exactly that — I am pretty bloody certain Hemingway never did enough revision; or, more charitably, not half as much as he should have done. And for all his big talk about re-writing his stories up to 50 times and insisting he took the utmost care over his writing, the work itself often doesn’t bear out that claim.

For example, if he really did re-write his stories 50 times and extensively revise them, you wonder why didn’t he spot those occasions when he ignored his own ‘rules on writing’? Repeated revising, which he claimed to do, should have sorted them out, but they didn’t.

For example, despite his claim that he was taught by Ezra Pound and Gertrude Stein to cut his prose to the bone and most certainly never use not just adverbs but adjectives and stuck to that practice, time and again he does use adverbs. In his ‘celebrated’ short story The Undefeated, which appeared in his second volume of short stories, he has his central character say say something ‘hopefully’, then something ‘reproachfully’. Later, the second main character in the story, reads a newspaper ‘laboriously’. Really? Nothing wrong with that expect, of course, if you preach to others that you shouldn’t do it.

In another celebrated story — you’ll notice I managed to resist but the word in quote marks this time — called The Capital Of The World, two priests become ‘hurriedly conscious of being the last people in the room’, a picador ‘swaggered quite steadily’ on his way out of the dining room, and in the kitchen of the pensione the dishwasher is ‘bitter and cynical’ who watches a younger lad ‘critically and cynically’.

I’m not one to lay down laws — I’ll leave that to Hemingway who was addicted to pontificating on ‘good writing’ and two his books, Death In The Afternoon and Green Hills Of Africa were written in part to allow him to pass judgment on other writers. But I was never one for the attitude of ‘it’s one rule for you and another for me’. More to the point, the man who bragged a great deal about his abilities and talents would certainly have been trying to establish himself as ‘the great and conscientious artist’ with his claims about taking infinite care when composing his story. Those claims are distinctly iffy.

The great thing about writing is that you can do write what the hell you like, about anything and in whatever style. There are no rules. The caveat is, though, whether or not what you produce ‘engages’, interests and ‘entertains’ readers (using the word as one might ‘entertain’ friends for a meal). If you want to use adverbs (though they are a tad lazy), go ahead by all means. But surely to goodness if you do lay down the law, you must yourself to abide by it.

. . .

Assuming Hemingway was as punctilious about re-writing and revising his work as he claimed he was (and he must have done a little re-reading The Capital Of The World first appeared in Esquire magazine (called The Horns Of The Bull), then, a few months later, in Winner Take Nothing, his third volume of original short stories), did not those three adverbs stand out like a sore thumb? As any sub-editor will tell you, there are many, many ways to rephrase and re-write a phrase or a sentence — that’s often their job — and here Hemingway might have tried not to tell us that the priests were ‘hurriedly conscious’, not that the dishwasher viewed his colleague ‘critically and sneeringly’ but conveyed the same information without using adverbs. I mean ‘show don’t tell’ is probably the first bloody thing they tell you at writing school.

NB I have to admit I’m a little sniffy about ‘creative writing courses’, but there you go. I suppose there are one or two hints you can pass on to eager-beaver would-be novelists and techniques they can learn to help them get out of a corner, but when push comes to shove . . . And as I being more than a bit sniffy, I might as well add that whenever I hear some young lad or lass proclaim that he or she ‘wants to be creative’, I have to bite my tongue hard to stop myself telling them ‘well, what’s stopping you? Be creative or shut the fuck up. And if you can’t think of a way of being creative, you never will be’. I hope I haven’t bruised too many egos with that one. Oh dear, I’ll probably not sleep tonight now.


. . .

That brings me on to what I intended this entry to be about. I am writing, I hope, the last ‘essay’ (or possibly the last-but-one) for my Was Hemingway A Twat Or Am I Just A Sour Philistine Who Doesn’t Know Shit From Sausages? website.

With all the reading about the old git I have done, it seems to me that Hemingway and others like him enter a kind of magic circle. He is now, still by many, spoken of as ‘one of the greatest writers of the 20th century’. How such a ‘middling writer’ managed it is what interests me, not the man himself. It’s hell’s own business to get into that magic circle, but once you are in, you seem your’e likely to get a pass at every turn.

That’s one of the points I make but here I’ll simply reprint part of what I have written so far (i.e. copy and paste it) to save myself the trouble):
In all monotheistic theologies, of whatever faith, two immutable facts are that ‘God exists’ and that ‘God is always right and without fault’. They are, if you are a believer, the sine qua non of every theological debate. Indeed, they have to be: what would be the point of basing moral strictures on the ‘word of God’ and debating the various arcana of ‘His’ existence and laws if God, too, were flawed and imperfect and no better than us mortals? 
Given ‘His’ unimpeachability, it is axiomatic that if there are some aspects of God, ‘His’ existence’, ‘His laws’ and ‘His word’ we do not yet comprehend (or to put it less delicately on the face of it sound like complete rubbish), it is necessarily and most certainly our fault: we are ‘too insignificant in the face of God’ and we must try far harder to understand what ‘He’ means. All too often aspects of ‘God’ and ‘His word’ which we find incomprehensible, such as the Roman Catholic doctrine of ‘three persons in one God’, are rationalised as being ‘a mystery’ (or its first cousin ‘a miracle’), ones we pitiful, sinful folk cannot be expected to understand. 
Such a concept of an unimpeachable, all-powerful and all-knowing God leads to a distressing circularity when it comes to ‘proving’ or demonstrating to a non-believer ‘His’ existence: how do we know God exists? Because he tell us he does (with the elegant variation that ‘it is though His grace that we are able to believe’). How do we know we can accept that assurance? Because he’s God and as he’s God he’s always right. How do we know God is always right? Because he tells us he is. Why should we accept ‘His word’ and obey ‘Him’ without question? Because he tells us we must. And why must we accept that imperative? Because he’s God. And so on and on and on. 
I know the world has moved on in the past two centuries and become far more secular and atheistic, but the essence of our thinking has remained the same: we might no longer hold that the ‘will of God’ cannot and should not be questioned, but many grant the same sacred, unimpeachable status to, for example, ‘human rights’: it is axiomatic that every man, woman and child alive has inalienable human rights which must be respected. Human rights inalienable? Discuss. 
A similar circularity appears to plague academics, eager post-grads, scholars and literary critics when they examine and analyse the work of Ernest Hemingway. Indeed, there is something quasi-theological about such analyses, interpretations and exegeses of his work. All too often the logic is that ‘this an excellent story and superb writing because it is by Ernest Hemingway’. Its twin is ‘Ernest Hemingway was one of our greatest writers because he wrote this excellent story, and his writing is superb’. And once you are caught in that loop, it’s really difficult to escape it.

(NB I must point out here I am solely talking about the various cack-handed philosophical and intellectual attempts to ‘prove’ why human rights are inalienable, not those rights themselves. I fully support the notion that everyone must be respected and has several ‘inalienable’ human rights. Many a philosopher, 1,000 brighter than me, has shattered on the various hidden rocks in moral philosophy.

It’s all very well trying to move on from placing ‘God’ at the centre of your moral system with something else and attempting to ‘prove’ ‘why we should be good’, but it never works. We usually end up simply awarding the same status to some notion as we once awarded to ‘God’ and are then stuck in the same bloody circularity. But all that, perhaps, for another time. End of Lesson.)  

. . .

What got me thinking along those lines were several analyses of Hemingway stories which seek to explain and rationalise apparent anomalies. In one case one academic ties himself in knots to ‘prove’ that what is now assumed — even by Scribner’s, Hemingway’s publishers — to have been a careless error in one of his stories was nothing on the kind.

On the contrary, he argues, it is a superb demonstration of Hemingway’s exquisite artistry and demonstrates an existentialist dimension to the story and Hemingway’s thinking. I’ll try to keep my outline of it brief, but if you want to read his full paper which appeared in the US journal College English in 1961 and others I shall mention, you can read or download copies here and here and here.

The relevant academic, a Joseph F Gabriel, wrote the Logic of Confusion In Hemingway’s A Clean, Well-Lighted Place while he was completing is doctoral dissertation at the University of Pennsylvania. That story concerns two waiters in a cafe ready to shut up for the night and their only customer, a lonely old man who is lingering, presumably because he doesn’t want to go home. 

The two waiters, one old, one young, discuss the old man, the young waiter impatient for him to leave so he can go home to his wife, the older waiter more sympathetic. It seems a week earlier the lonely old man had tried to hang himself but was saved by his niece. The error — I’m obliged to write ‘apparent’ error or Mr Gabriel will be fearfully upset — is that there are several inconsistencies in what the two waiters say. Although at first neither waiter is immediately identified by Hemingway, each is eventually referred to as ’the young waiter’ and ‘the old waiter’; and when, once they are identified, one can work back to what each is saying about the old man. One of them ‘knows’ something about the old man’s suicide attempt and makes a comment he, if the to and fro of conversation is conventional, cannot have ‘known’. It should have been the other waiter who ‘knew’ it because of what else he says at other points.

This anomaly was first spotted in 1956, but written about in papers that appeared for the journal College English — independently — in 1959 by two other keen academics, both English professors: F. P. Kroeger, who described the anomaly as an ‘insoluble problem’, and William E. Colburn. Crucially, neither agreed with the other as to what had happened, but eventually, in 1965, after more academics added their voices, Hemingway’s publishers, Scribner’s, emended the text in a new version of the story to get rid of the anomaly. That was when the trouble started.

The Law of Parsimony (which is also known as Occam’s Razor, named after the Franciscan friar William of Occam or Ockham) would have proved useful here if all those academics had resorted to it: Occam’s Razor states that of  all possible explanations, the simplest explanation is the most likely. applying that law here, the most likely explanation is that ‘Hemingway cocked up’, didn’t keep track as well as he might have done and didn’t notice the discrepancy, and that despite his avowal that he re-wrote and revised his stories 50 times, er, didn’t always seem to do so (and on that point a little more later).

Everyone had (and I suppose, like me, has) their two ha’porth to add, especially in view of Scribner’s ‘correction’: only a few agreed that Hemingway was at fault, but the majority who might not have agreed with each other were united in the belief that ‘this is Hemingway! Surely, one of the greatest writers of the 20th century knew what he was doing and this was not an error?’ It’s the same monotheistic approach to ‘God’s existence’: you simply cannot question it.

Some claimed the error occurred when the story was typed up (presumably not by Hemingway), others when the story was typeset for print. Yet others, notably some bod called Otto Reinert, argued that there was no anomaly: he explained that although the convention when writing dialogue was usually to start a new indented line for each fictional speaker, it was only a convention and need not necessarily be observed.

Reinert suggested that because Hemingway had wanted to indicate a ‘reflective pause’ in one of the speaks, he had decided to break the convention: the problem was solved because there is no problem. Others, of course — this being the vipers’ nest that is academia — disagreed. All of them, though, tie themselves in complete knots to ‘prove’ that Hemingway, ‘one of our greatest writers who might well have been able to walk on water had he turned his mind to it’ did not ‘make a mistake’ (and had it occurred to them, they might well have added ‘bugger William of sodding Occam and his bloody razor!’)
. . .

By far the silliest explanation I’ve yet come across is Joseph F. Gabriel’s take. But a few more details are required before I launch into it, though I’ll keep my account succinct and simple: when one waiter asked the other — at this point neither is identified — what had led the old man to try to hang himself, the reply is
He was in despair’.
‘What about?’ the first asks.
‘Nothing,’ says the second.
‘How do you know it was about nothing?’ asks the first. 
He has plenty of money,’ says the second.
Note: at this point neither waiter/speaker is identified.

Ah, ha! you can almost hear Gabriel cry, there we have it! He argues that Hemingway uses the word ‘nothing’ ambiguously: the one waiter understand it to mean he tried to hang himself ‘for no reason’, but the other — who Gabriel then identifies as the ‘older waiter’ takes ‘nothing’ to signify ‘the meaningless of existence’.

The old gent had tried to top himself because for him life no longer had a purpose. And because, later in the story, the older waiter is shown to be similarly lonely and despondent — he parodies the Lord’s Prayer, repeating the Spanish for nada (nothing), ‘nothing’ — used in two separate meanings by both waiters — as in ‘the meaningless of existence’ is partly what the story is about.

OK, you might ask, but what does this have do to the ‘anomaly’ in the story, ‘the insoluble problem’? Well, Gabriel argues, there isn’t one: it was not an error at all but that Hemingway set out to confuse the reader, to make the dialogue inconsistent, for a very good reason. The confusion of who is saying what, says Gabriel, was intended by Hemingway to reflect the ‘confusion of existence’. Thus: no anomaly, no typist or typesetter’ error, and certainly no carelessness by Hemingway. This, insists Gabriel, proves the story was ‘artfully contrived’.

Hmm, as both I and, I suspect, William of Occam might have responded. And in case you missed it: hmm. Are you sure?

. . .

Unfortunately for Gabriel, Reinert and others, in January 1979 one Warren Bennett, of the University of Saskatchewan, published a paper, The Manuscript And The Dialogue Of A Clean, Well-Lighted Place, in American Literature which rather makes a nonsense of all their hi-falutin’ claims. Since 1972, Mary Welsh, Hemingway’s widow had begun donating some (or perhaps all, he doesn’t say) of her husband’s manuscripts to the JFK Library in Boston. Among them was the original handwritten manuscript of A Clean, Well-Lighted Place, which Bennett examined.

The manuscript (pictured below) was originally written in pencil and, says Bennett, Hemingway made slight

 

revisions: doing so almost immediately (that is as he was writing the story), a little later on in the day, and a day or two later. Bennett said we can distinguish between the original version first put down by Hemingway and the slight revisions for several reasons: the varying thickness of the pencil or pencils used, the space between the lines on the manuscript and the number of lines on the 11 pages of manuscript.

Comparing this manuscript and its changes to the story as originally published, Bennett concludes that a typist or a typesetter was certainly responsible for one error, but that Hemingway also confused himself and was responsible for the other inconsistency.

Finally, Bennett says he sanctions the emendation made to the published text by Scribner’s in 1965 because it did solve one of the problems.

Bennett does rather pull his punches a little when in conclusion, and tacitly acknowledging that in at least one case the writer who insisted he took immense care about his writing, weighed every word and I don’t know what else, he concludes

This pictures Hemingway not as the slow perfectionist, hovering over every word and detail, but an artist ‘fired up’, and writing at considerable speed in producing what must be regarded, in spite of the flaw in the dialogue, as classic Hemingway: expressing much by showing little.

So, Mr Bennett would still insist, there is still a God.

I’ll just add one small point: there’s nothing wrong with writing at considerable speed’ but exactly what is hindering the writer about taking as much time as needed to revise the piece at leisure to ensure it is exactly what he wants?
‘Oh, [I hear the wiseacres, cry[, he must have revised it with care (as he always did because he tells us he did) and did realise the was an anomaly, but realised it was a useful anomaly and added to the artistic impact of the piece’.
You pays your money and you makes your choice, is all I can add. That is not, however, the end of the story. Still with me? If so, well, done. If not, you’re not going know why I asked the question.

. . .

In the Sept 1998 edition of The Hemingway Review, a Ken Ryan, of the University of Alaska, published his paper The Contentious Emendation Of Hemingway’s A Clean, Well-Lighted Place, and as you can gather from the title, after Bennett had added a little much-needed sanity to the whole ‘debate’, Ryan through returned to square one, pretty much chanting the old theological article of faith that ‘Hemingway was a genius, he knew what he was doing [all the time] and he didn’t make mistakes.’

He more or less backed up the Joseph F Gabriel line, although he softened it a little withe one, very slight concession he made: Hemingway just might had dropped a small bollock, but when he realised what had happened, he also realised it was a ‘happy accident’ and left it in. Well, up to a point, Lord Copper (though, to be frank, I’m the ejit even bothering to mix it with these loons).

. . .

As this entry is becoming far too long, I had better wrap up here. I’ve achieved what I set out to achieve, to get one or two matters a little straighter in my mind, and I shall be copying and pasting this entry, though then re-writing it, for my ‘essay’ along the lines of ‘The Theology of Understanding Hemingway (and why it’s not just best, but saner to be an atheist)’.

The upshot is that academics, not just those with a hard-on for Hemingway, are far keener on arguing that ‘black might well be white — who knows?’ As for the man himself, there’s no getting away from the awful conclusion that many are still willing to settle for the line that ‘Hemingway was a genius, almost a god, and could do no wrong.

Next week: Did Jesus Christ ever take a dump (being God made Man). Discuss.

And if you have rather less time on your hands, try sorting out the Israel/Palestine problem. You might have more luck with that one.
PS 3,494 words — is anyone really going to read this? Answers, please, to the usual dead letter box in Moscow on the south side of Yeltsin Park.