I’m glad I’ve finally finished the work, but the book is certainly not identical to the website I have been plugging in this blog for what seems like that past 350 years. (You didn’t know the internet was up and running in the 1670s, did you? No, nor did I until I made up that ‘fact’).
I have to say, and I hope none of you see this as boasting, that a lot of work went into getting that book published (courtesy of Amazon KDP’s service so don’t set to much store by the word ‘published’ – ‘printed’ would be a far closer description) and I am proud of it.
The Hemingway Enigma website was launched on – I’ve just checked the date – November 3, 202o, but by then I had been beavering away writing the blog entries for some time.
At some point I decided to have it printed in book form, and a little later I realised that I would have to re-write the website copy substantially as there was a great deal of repetition overall on the website pages: the nature of the web means that you might hit upon a random page and it is every unlikely that will be on the ‘first’ page.
So what was written on each page needed a certain context so that the punter had a reasonable chance of knowing what the hell was going on. But as a book is almost always read from start – the first page – to end – the last page, such repetitions would look silly, so I had to get rid of them.
I also realised on re-reading it that some of the ‘thought’ (I like to think there is a little in it) could, perhaps, be expressed more clearly. So once the website was out of the way, I set about re-writing the copy.
Then came designing and formatting the book, but I enjoy that kind of work. I used Indesign to do it all, the software we used on the Mail feature subs’ desk, and it is very, very useful
I have to say, I was increasingly conscientious about the work, latterly – pretty much the past year or so – sitting down and writing for at least four to five hours a day. And it was not a chore, as I enjoy writing. But therein lies the problem: I’ve done it and, in a sense, now have nothing more to write.
. . .
My usual routine was to be downstairs by about 10am – I am now retired and see little point in getting up early – and then more or less piss about doing fuck-all for the next two to three hours: a bit of this, a bit of that, Wordle, reading the newspapers online, watching a YouTube video or ten – you know what I mean because we have all been there – and then, around 1pm getting stuck into ‘work’.
Well, frankly, it wasn’t ‘work’ at all because, as I say, I enjoyed and enjoy it. I think it only becomes ‘work’ when you don’t enjoy doing it and it becomes a chore. One of the few pieces of advice I’ve given my son is when I come to ‘finding a job/work’, don’t chase money, find something you like doing.
(NB Other advice I have given him and my daughter is to make sure they realise ‘there’s no such thing as a free lunch’. That last can be taken as you want – there are several interpretations – but the way I understand it, and the way I hoped they would understand it, is that when push comes to shove every ‘favour’ has to be paid for, so beware of ‘favours’. That’s worth knowing as when we are young and have less life experience we might not realise quite how tricky some favours can become.)
After I had finished re-writing all my copy and had produced and Indesign manuscript, I had a proof copy printed up, read through it all again, found and corrected quite a few literals, then went through it again on screen.
All that took a few weeks, but finally I thought the time had come to bite the bullet and get the fucker printed. I don’t doubt there are still little literals still lurking here and there, silly little things such as ‘their’ when it should in context be ‘there’ etc, but I suspected I was putting off finalising it all. A lot of the tiny errors are down to slightly tweaking a sentence and thereby introducing another tiny error – what was correctly ‘is’ should now be ‘are’ because of the bloody tweak I made, that kind of thing.
Well, enough was enough – as they say in all the hooey Hollywood films about newspapers ‘publish and be damned’.
That is not the tack taken these days, and I suspect never was: when the paper’s balls are truly on the line, the whole story has been through several briefs with a fine tooth comb to spot anything before the word goes out to print. But, ssshh, don’t tell your friends, as a rule we prefer the romantic bullshit fiction to the prosaic fact.
. . .
So what is this entry all about? Well, for the past year or so, I have woken up and known what I would be doing that day: writing My Hemingway Bollocks (and I have had one or two identical copies printed with just that title to give away to friends with a few spoof plugs – I’ve never been able to resist a cheap joke, it’s what will ensure I never win the Nobel Prize).
And I did, as I say conscientiously. But now . . .
Now I’m at a loose end. Yes, I do have things planned, but it’s one thing to spend a great deal of time on a project that has already started and is underway, quite another actually to start a project.
I shan’t say what it is, but I’ve been thinking about it and – sort of – planning it in tandem for many, many months.
But now is the time to put my money where my mouth is and, er, I’m a bit (as we used to say at school) windy. I have no doubt at all that I can do it, none at all, none whatsoever, not question! (But I’m a bit, er, windy. Did I tell you that?)
There is still a lot of thinking to be done, but I also find – I have found in the past and it’s true of the tracks I record (there are two below) that, oddly, in the process much takes a shape and comes together. It’s naturally stupid to rely on that to happen. But it is equally silly to ignore serendipity.
Getting all that down on paper is helping. In fact, writing this entry is already helping. I haven’t written many regular blog entries for some time, and one plan is to write a short entry every morning (or every day to get back in the swing of doing some kind of writing which isn’t sodding Hemingway).
Ironically, doing exactly that is what first gave me the idea for ‘keeping a diary’ and which was not really ‘a diary’ at all. For 15 years, from about 1980 on, I ‘kept a diary’ in hard-back A4 lined ledgers after I had read in the preface to East Of Eden by John Steinbeck (and a remember exactly nothing about the novel) that Steinbeck confessed to his editor that he had writer’s block.
Simple, said the editor, I’ll send you a ledger and you can start the day by writing any old shite on the left-hand page just to get your juices flowing and once they are flowing, start writing whatever fiction you have in mind.
I have about ten of those A4 ledgers now (and they will never be written because no cunt, least of all me, can read my sodding handwriting) and only stopped writing in it when I got married and thought it more diplomatic not to record my private thoughts. These, when discovered by a snooping person, possibly a wife, can be hugely misinterpreted.
That did happen to me once: I was going out with one Sian V. (who I think might have dodged a bullet when it all ended – I might in the past have written about it) and was living with her in Birmingham, when on a visit to my parents in Henley-on-Thames for not reason at all I wondered what had happened to an old girlfriend, Annette B.
When I knew her, she was working the warehouse in Henley of the publisher Routledge, and Kegan Paul, and on spec I rang up: ‘Is Annette B. there?’
Well yes, she was, and we met up in her lunch break. And my visit was just in time: now married and expecting here first child she was leaving the following week.
I recorded all this in my ‘diary’, Sian read it and was upset. Don’t blame her.
So I stopped writing that ‘diary’ when I married in 1995, and this blog was its continuation when I started it on February 6, 2009. Or rather – if you read that day’s entry – I had started it a week or two earlier, but committed some kind of technical boo-boo and had to start again.
. . .
In short: just to get back in the swing (and do at least some writing every day) I shall try to post an entry every day from now on. The first will probably be tomorrow as I am off to France again to see my elderly aunt in Illats on Thursday (train to London tomorrow, flight to Bordeaux from Gatwick on Thursday.
Pip, pip.
By the way, I have also printed up a revised copy of Love: A Fiction. I’ve plugged it so many times here with zero response that I’m giving up. Oh well, maybe check it out. Remember the wise advice: never judge a book by its cover.
